Ep. 18: More
ON THIS EPISODE:
Today we talked about the concept of MORE as it relates to life and fulfillment. We’ll also talk about Peppermint, CD clubs, ‘90s rap/hip-hop, cosmic fireballs, and Dave’s failing memory.
The Fireball Site - https://www.amsmeteors.org/
Timeline: Episode 17
Timeline: 35 minutes total
I’m Morgan Hansow and this is my husband, Dave - we’ve spent the last 20 years on a wild adventure that’s taken us to Africa, the Oprah show, and Hollywood.
Welcome to Chasing Unicorns… a podcast about giving ourselves permission to chase our dreams, explore our faith, and figure out who we are, all while trying to keep our crap together!
As Creatives, Humanitarians, and Parents, we’re learning (sometimes the hard way) that the hustle and pursuit of the elusive unicorn will never satisfy.
Each week we explore what it looks like to live authentic, passionate, and connected lives while being a part of a movement that’s trying to transform the world through story + grace.
Overview of today’s show -
Welcome to Chasing Unicorns! Today we’re going to talk about the concept of MORE as it relates to life and fulfillment. We’ll also talk about Peppermint, CD clubs, ‘90s rap/hip-hop, cosmic fireballs, and Dave’s failing memory.
Hey Hey! Back at it!!! With Dave out of town last week chaperoning Asher’s school camp, we released the super long Episode 17 and we’ve heard some great feedback which we’ll be interjecting throughout today’s episode. It’s always a juggle to balance everything AND make space for the amazing opportunities working from home affords us, like being able chaperone our kids’ field trips and camps. What is this? The 3rd camp in three years for you Babe?
Yes it is. I’ve volunteered to chaperone camp each year for Asher and actually, starting this year you’ll get to do the same for Jadyn.
Yep, I’ve already told her teacher at back-to-school night that I’m in for chaperoning her science camp in the spring! So tell us, what’d you do at camp for 4 days last week?
Well… to be honest I just know that these days are limited. I know for those parents who have little kids, you may go back and forth between loving those moments and also feeling like you can’t wait for them to grow up and begin taking care of themselves a bit. But, as a parent of a teenager, I’ll tell you - it goes so freaking fast. Not only that, but if we’ve done our job as parents halfway decent, its in these ages where our kids are actually more fun to be around and we get to enjoy things together. But I also know that we only have a handful of years left with Asher in our house, so you can bet I’ll soak in all that I can, and that’s included being a chaperone for everything possible. Plus, there’s just something really amazing about getting to know all of the other kids in our kids grades and classes. It’s almost like it gives me another level of understanding for everything Asher will experience in the coming year.
So yeah… this past week was filled with ropes courses, long hikes up mountains, blobs, late night cabins filled with boys being boys, as well as a bunch of conversation around really deep things. And then some really special things happened as well, and its part of the reason I love our kids school and we were willing to move to another state for. The kids were basically given the chance to look at some of the fears and lies they believe. I heard kids publicly, in front of all of their peers say things like “i renounce the lie that adults just won't ever understand me, I’m too skinny, I’m too short, that I’ll never regain the trust of adults, that I’m not smart, or even the lie that I will never get a good job.” I mean… I know all of us probably dealt and maybe still deal with these kind of lies that pop up in our heads, but as 7th and 8th graders to get the chance to speak those out in a safe environment is such a beautiful thing. And then to have your peers come around you to encourage you, pray for you, and just call those lies out for the lies they are is just amazing.
So yeah… it was a fantastic week!
Well I know Asher has been super grateful to have you a part of his experiences, plus it’s been a great time of connection with other parents and probably the best thing is that you get to know his friends and who he’s spending time with
That’s so true. Plus I figure that I want to be around and involved as long as our son wants me to. He’ll be 14 in a couple months and we’ve talked about it before—even though this school season feels long, the truth is that it’s fleeting. Sure I could have used the 4 days to make money and work, but I try to think about it in terms of the future...I know I won’t regret time and memories spent with Asher.
Absolutely, and honestly, years from now you won’t remember the 4 days had you worked, but now this will be stored as a significant memory, well you don’t have the best memory, but you’re bound to remember certain key moments! Ha!
How about you tell our listeners about the fireball you saw from our backyard the other day?
Oh my gosh, this was crazy. So the other day we had a friend from New Zealand over to catch up from a summer where she’s been traveling. She came over at 8 and the plan was to have a drink and chat around the fire pit. So we made some drinks and said good night to the kids and then we go outside and I was sitting in the chair facing north and right after I sat down I saw this ball of fire shoot across the sky. But like really low… almost like it was about to hit the ground. I signaled for others to look but Morgan was just walking out from the house and by the time Nicola turned around, the blaze had already gone behind the roofline.
I was SO bummed I missed it but I was straggling because I was bringing out the chocolate to nibble on. And by the time I sat down and you were recounting what you saw, you weren’t sure what you had seen. You said it acted like a shooting star but it was HUGE…
Yeah, the only way I could describe it was an orange glowing ball of fire with a super long tail that trailed behind - it was going from east to west in the sky. And later, in Morgan’s typical investigational fashion, she found a site called the American Meteor Society where people report fireball events.
Yeah, so fireballs are essentially meteors falling to earth and a fireball is the term given to meteor with a brightness greater than Venus. We determined that what Dave saw was a fireball and that it’s really a once in a lifetime sighting. As I was reading about them it was saying that around 48,000-63,000 feet in altitude the meteorite will decelerate to the point where visible light is no longer generated so we know that although it seemed close because it was so big and bright, it was actually pretty far away.
Yeah, it had to be because on this site I was able to search and see that on the date in particular, August 30th, at 8:30 PST there are 46 other people that reported the same sighting with the same trajectory in this region. From the sightings, the AMS determined that the fireball was just north of Medford, Oregon because people as far north as Portland and even Washington reported the same sighting.
Most people who reported this event reported a magnitude of brightness somewhere around a full moon - so that’s super bright and rare. I actually read that to see a fireball of this brightness, the probability would be 1 in every 200 hours of meteor watching. And Lord knows you haven’t been stargazing for 200 hours in your life, so I would say this really was a once in a lifetime event!
Yeah, it’s definitely something I’m for sure going to remember, it was crazy. And speaking of meteorites, doesn’t your dad actually have one?
Yeah, I grew up with a meteorite in the closet! So my dad is a geologist and rocks of varying geological formation were always in abundance in our home, but he inherited a meteorite found by a relative while farming the family’s land in Pennsylvania years ago. It’s INCREDIBLY heavy and I don’t know the exact composite but it’s crazy to think it being extraterrestrial! Oh and get this, so I was texting back and forth with my dad who loves astronomy and was telling me about a comet that was going to be visible the other night and he told me that we’re walking around with micro particles of cosmic dust all over - that about 40,000 tons of cosmic debris enters our atmosphere from outer space EACH YEAR (like the fireball you saw) and so particles that burn off that fall into the atmosphere end up in our hair and on our bodies, so we really are all celestial to some extent! Crazy huh!
Haha…. so crazy! Well there you have it for the astronomical portion of Chasing Unicorns! And if you want to learn more about meteors or fireballs or report one every, check out https://www.amsmeteors.org/ - we’ll put the link on the show notes.
Okay, how we start with a little segment we like to call “Be Kind/Please Rewind” - in which we connect with our inner child and give ourselves permission to drop the Adult BS to talk about and try things that add beauty, joy, wonder back to life
Great idea! Well this last week we had a totally unplanned connection to our inner child...after dinner the other night Dave decided to introduce our kids to some old school rap/hip-hop while we cleaning up after dinner and somehow that morphed into an hour-long dance party
I was getting all nostalgic for the days of my youth...even though we were both born in ‘81, the bulk of our coming to age was in the ‘90s and so rap/hip-hop really shaped us.
Which is funny, because our son, Asher, is a total fan of ‘80s and late ‘70s music - like hardcore, he has vinyls of Toto and The Cars and Michael Jackson and such and of course I remember those songs from my youth, but when I was getting into music and buying CDs through Columbia House and BMG and making mix-tapes, it was the ‘90s
Same! So the other night we just got on a roll recalling one artist or song from our youth after the other and we were asking Siri to play them and then having a full out dance party. Jadyn came out for a song or two, but she was being responsible and retreated to her room to study but for about 45 minutes it was just Morgan, Asher and I. We were laughing and at times were making Asher feel uncomfortable with our ridiculous interpretive moves, and Morgan even gasped a few times because it wasn’t always the edited version of songs that came on!
I know, and honestly I remember being in middle school thinking that my parents had no idea what the lyrics were like on the rap albums I was buying. You know with the Columbia House or BMG they hooked you with something crazy like buy one, get 12 free or something and so I went to town with both rap/hip-hop and Enya!
Oh my gosh… total ends of the spectrum! That’s hilarious! It was the same for me, not with Enya, but with the music clubs and then every month you had to decline the featured selection or it would get sent to you and you’d get charged
OR, you’d forget like I did, and then I’d get the package and not open it (or open it and glue it shut if I didn’t like the selection) and then write on the package with a red sharpie, ‘Not accepted/Return to Sender’ and put it back in the mailbox and you didn’t have to pay to send it back - did you do that?
Honestly I don’t remember ever doing that. You knew how to work the system better than me. Haha But nice work babe! It’s actually funny to think about the fact that those were the years just prior to napster and all of the other ways to cheat the system. Forgive us artists!
By the way - here is just a sampling of the artists that we had blaring at our dance party, feel free to use them for your future parties: Dr. Dre, TuPac, Warren G, The Notorious B.I.G., Eminem, Blackstreet, Outkast, Snoop Dog, LL Cool J, Coolio, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Spice Girls, Ru Paul, Ace of Base, KC&JoJo, Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch, Savage Garden, & Us3. Phew!
Not sure if any of those artists solicit memories from your youth but regardless, we highly recommend spontaneous dance parties AND we highly recommend bringing back the music of your youth and sharing it with your kids. It is crazy how many lyrics we have stored in long-term memory - lyrics we haven’t accessed for 20+ years
And it’s crazy how many memories we have associated with songs. As we were playing songs we were also telling Asher about specific experiences or memories from our youth - like me being on vacation with my family and listening to KC&JoJo’s ‘All My Life’ every night thinking about and missing you!
Ahhh, high school love!!! So much history!!! If we were rating our experiences I would give old-school dance parties 11 unicorn horns! Don’t be afraid to let loose and reminisce! Again, I’m going to go out on a limb and venture that this is another memory I’ll ALWAYS remember! Haha!
It’s Home Office Huddle Time in which we Talk about what’s surfacing in our current pursuits—both personally and professionally—as a Husband/Wife duo.
This week, our conversation has revolved around the word ‘More’ but before we jump into that conversation we wanted to take a couple minutes and go back to last week’s episode about management. On that episode I talked about having to force myself to work out and so last week I had a good friend from Encinitas, Jesse, send me a video message encouraging me to find a physical activity that I enjoy because our bodies were created to move and it shouldn’t feel like a half-to where our movement is tied to body image or checking something off because that’s not sustainable. Instead he suggested finding some activity with movement that is life-giving and enjoyable and empowering.
And I totally agree! It’s something I would like to change in my life. I do the gym because it’s easy and fast and I know it, but it’s not enjoyable in the least. Our buddy Jesse happens to live by the ocean and his movement is tied to surfing which he loves. Back in Colorado I had friends who were into mountain biking and rafting. But I just haven’t found my ‘thing’ yet.
You do love golf (and you’re really good)!
That’s true, it’s just that’s a pretty time-intensive and expensive form of movement. But it’s definitely worth looking into exploring my options with that. And for you babe, what about you?
Well I really appreciated Jesse’s advice and I’ve been thinking about it the last few days, asking myself what I enjoy for movement and I can honestly say that I really enjoy my yoga. I’m not sure if doing it at home is the best for me long-term but I was thinking about my language of forcing myself b/c I’ve been doing lots of self-reflection this last week—I even started seeing a counselor— and I think me forcing myself isn’t about the movement itself, but about my inability to care for myself. I’m sure we’ll be talking about the enneagram at some point on the podcast, but I’m a 2/3—2 is helper and 3 is an achiever—and so my natural tendency is to take care of everyone else and check off the list of everything that needs to get done before taking care of me. And so I really think that me making myself do yoga is more about making myself a priority and giving myself permission to take care of me before I take care of others or do things. Honestly, it’s me coming to grips with the reality that me putting myself first is not selfish so a really good self-revelation this week - thanks for the prompting and love Jesse!
So there’s our follow-up and response to your suggestions..Keep them coming! Okay, now for the conversation at hand - If you’ve listened to the past few episodes, you know that we’ve recently come through a bit of a funk and we’re learning a few things about how to manage ourselves better. But as not-fun as it is to go through a funk, we’re learning a few things, and one of them is that there is a grace that comes along with recognizing you’re in a place where you need help and want to move towards the more.
I was recently listening to an episode of the Robcast, which is Rob Bell’s podcast and in his most recent episode, Rob and the comedian Pete Holmes, discuss this very thing. Morgan, you haven’t listened to it yet so this is a bit of a spoiler, sorry. Anyways, Pete is currently on a show that he helped create based on his life - it’s on HBO and is called ‘Crashing.’ He mentions that fact that during the filming of Season Two of his show—when everything on the outside would have appeared to be incredible—there was a sort of malaise that, or as he put it “a dust that seemed to permeate everything in his life.” In other words, he was in a funk. But here is the kicker - He goes on to say that the dust, or the funk, was actually the grace. It is the reminder that there is more. There is more life to be had. There is a longing in all of us for a movement towards more. And the funk, or the dusting can actually be the grace itself. And that really resonated with me, because it sort of parallels what we’ve been walking through.
Huh! Yeah, I like how he called it a dusting, that’s a good word because you know, we’ve often called it a heaviness. I totally resonate with the realization that there is longing to move to the more because that’s what we’ve been chatting about it. You know I love Pete, but I’m a little confused by his wording. So what you’re saying is that the very thing that feels heavy is good? Because I don’t think that’s always the case and I have a little confusion about calling the funk a grace, my mind associates grace with spirituality and so my fear in calling it a grace is to confuse the hard or bad things with God - like he’s causing them or trying to teach us a lesson because that doesn’t seem to align with His character. I do however think God can use our circumstances and situation and give us a grace to endure and shift our perspective while we’re in it.
I actually think you’re reading too much into the word grace because you know I agree with you in that I don’t believe God causes the hardship or struggle - that’s all because of living in a messed up world, and sometimes the result of choice. So that aside, what he’s really saying is that our ability to recognize the funk we’re in is actually the thing that saves us because when we have awareness of our current discomfort and feelings, we can start to seek help and find movement out towards the more, even in the middle of the hardship. Does that make sense?
Yeah, when you word it like that, I get it! And I see how he uses the word grace. It’s more like the awareness of the heaviness or the funk that is the grace - because without that awareness we’d become stagnate or stuck and we’d miss out on the more. The hope is the recognition of the funk keeps us from getting comfortable in it and instead begins to move us along towards more health and wholeness.
Exactly, and the trick is to actually be the kind of people who begin to notice this while we’re in the funk and then respond appropriately and make the choices to move towards more. And it’s not even about believing that we have to get rescued from a scenario before we experience the more. Everything in this world tells us that things have to be either/or but Jesus was always about the ‘And.’ Which is what you and I have been talking about this week…
Right, I mean, we both know that we grow as people when we go through difficult things, AND no one actually likes going through hard things. It’s this weird dichotomy… on one hand we need hard things in life to grow and on the other we avoid hard things at all cost. We’ve often said that we wouldn’t wish some of the things we’ve been through on our worst enemy and yet it’s those very hellacious things that have shaped us and our character. Like you’re saying, the trick really is to start to having eyes to see that when we’re in the middle of a hard season or circumstance and know that we’re not hopeless or helpless even there. It’s all the things we’re trying to do that we talked about in the MANAGE episode last week and it’s remembering that we have choice in where we put our thoughts and attention. It takes intentionality to focus on the more that is yet to come while not believing the lie that we’re a pile of poop until we arrive. So for us this last week, it’s been lots of conversations about choosing positivity and gratitude. We’ve been worshiping and dancing and celebrating more. And for me, it’s even been going to see a counselor which I mentioned earlier. That’s a first for me, but it’s been so good to begin to process some of these thoughts and patterns with someone on the outside. And all of it is for the MORE that is not only ahead, but also now.
100% and I think that gratitude is really key...I can say with absolute confidence that we don’t arrive in the more in life without a heart posture of gratitude. In case you didn’t see the national news last week, our city, Redding, was highlighted again for a fire that started a week ago just miles north of us. Because of this fire, we’ve had horrible air quality this past week - the worst in the world actually - to the point where our kid’s school closed halfway through the day for a couple days and we’ve had to go pick them up. Normal levels are under 100 and we’ve been in the 300-700 range. Worse than anything we had with the big Carr fire a month ago. So in the middle of this inability to breathe outside, we’ve found ourselves being mindful of the very air we breathe, something we often take for granted, and we’ve been praying for clean air. And as a result, we’ve been rejoicing in gratitude for the days where the air quality has allowed us to go outside and take a deep breath or go on a run or even mow the yard. And we wouldn’t have arrived at the more of clean air had we not had to struggle with the polluted air. You don’t get one without the other...but there’s always hope - hope that with grace to see it, we’ll make it through.
Yeah, at some point we will get to a point where we can abandon the air masks—and the headaches, sore throats, and respiratory issues—we will come through. At some point this funk that we’re in will lift and we will be dancing in the more. And it’s the case with all the hards things we’ve been through and all the tragic things we’ve walked with friends through. Eventually we will come out on the other side. At some point there is celebration in the more - at some point we’ll be crowded around a table, laughing and feasting and toasting and celebrating the goodness. We don’t forget the struggle or the pain, but having walked through it makes the more that much more celebratory!
When you’re in the middle of hard things, whether it’s a marriage issue, a season you’re going through with your kids or your friends, a creative funk…. Or even just an internal struggle - One the things we can begin to implement is to remind ourselves that we’re going to come through. That we’ve been through hard things before and we’re still alive. We’re still here. And once this season is over we’ll get to be gathered around a table one day reminiscing all this season taught us and all the character we developed and who knows, we might even laugh about it. And ultimately, we’ll be better people because we went through it.
BABE - lead us into a Deep Dive…
This is a simple, yet profound shift in perspective. And it’s timely for me because as I mentioned earlier I was with Asher’s class last week at a camp and throughout the week I heard many 12 and 13 year olds who shared what their fears were. And one fear that really stood out to me that I heard from probably 4 or 5 kids was one of significance and their futures. Basically I heard kids express that one of their fears were that they would never get a great job when they grew up, or that they didn’t know if they were as talented as their peers. I thought this was interesting because one of the side effects of a school that tells kids of their importance, their worth as people, and essentially that they will be world changers is that there is a subtle pressure that is put on them. Basically if we are told our whole life that we are amazing and yet we don’t feel amazing, it can be confusing. So my deep dive comes from Richard Rohr and he says this
“It’s a gift to joyfully recognize and accept our own smallness and ordinariness. Then you are free with nothing to live up to, nothing to prove, and nothing to protect. Such freedom is my best description of Christian maturity, because once you know that your “I” is great and one with God, you can ironically be quite content with a small and ordinary “I.” No grandstanding is necessary. Any question of your own importance or dignity has already been resolved once and for all”
So, may we all be people who both simultaneously know our inherent worth, and at the same time life in the freedom that comes with knowing our smallness and ordinariness.”
On the Screen - in which we visit and review what we’re watching this week
Okay, let’s see, essentially we’re reviewing 2 weeks of viewing this week. Well, we’ve only been to the theaters once, part of that is because of the stupid changes to MoviePass which for time’s sake, we’ll talk about in a subsequent episode. So this last weekend we went to go see Peppermint starring Jennifer Garner. And first off, let’s talk comfort...our only major theater in town just did a big renovation and this was our first movie-going experience in our hometown with recliners so the plushness was top-notch and my lower back has been hurting these last few weeks so I had the seat heater on so it felt like I had a heating pad on!
Nice, killing two birds with one stone - medicinal comfort plus entertainment! It was really comfortable! A huge improvement. And as for the film, we really enjoyed it. Jennifer Garner’s character is a badass in this film! If you watch the trailer, you’ll see that her family, husband and daughter, are murdered by a gang and she survives the shooting and when the justice system is essentially paid off to get the murderers off, she disappears and comes back 5 years later to see that justice is served, a total vigilante. It’s entertaining and action-packed. I’d say that this this is 8 out of 11 unicorn horns. And it’s probably worth noting that this is a film where there’s a HUGE discrepancy between what critics think and audiences think.
If you look at the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes you’ll see that critics gave this movie a measly 13% while the audience has given it 81% - that’s quite a difference. And if you read the reviews, you’ll see the critics say it’s cliche as a vigilante film or that it’s racist for portraying the drug cartel as mexican.
I say, c’mon, stop being haters Critics! Playing the critic is easy! You’re sitting on your asses writing and judging the people who are taking creative risks, following their dreams, and actually working their asses off doing something. Yes, Peppermint is reminiscent of the Equalizer or Punisher but it’s a woman and because of her history in Alias, she makes a great vigilante. And as for being racist, the film is about the drug cartel in CA which happens to have Mexican roots, it’s not stereotyping, it is what it is, just like a film set in Boston or New Jersey or New York would focus on the Italian, Irish or Russian Mafia! I’m just saying that the audience, for whom the film was actually made, is resonating with this film and for that reason, I predict it will do better at the box office than the critics anticipate.
We had an unusual Labor day weekend in that our kids ended up being gone for a couple days. Jadyn had a get-together with a friend and then went out of town for a friend’s birthday shopping extravaganza and Asher was on a ministry trip with the youth pastor at our church so we took advantage of our weekend to ourselves to binge Amazon Prime and watch Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan series starring John Krasinski.
If you don’t know Tom Clancy, he’s all about political action thrillers and this much anticipated show focuses on a terrorist group in Syria. It’s big budget, lots of action and does a good job at showing some of the humanity behind war and military action, but it’s definitely heavy in violence and there’s a couple completely unnecessary sex scenes in a few of the episodes.
Yeah, they were pretty explicit and they didn’t help the storyline - it’s just frustrating that all the big budget series on SVOD sites have to be so sexually graphic and borderline pornographic. On CommonSenseMedia (which is a site we use to check how a Show/Movie is rated for kids by both parents and kids), for this show, it’s crazy because it’s rated for 18-year-olds by the 10 parents who’ve reviewed it and the only kid who rated it rated it for age 11 (that’s a huge discrepancy and there’s no way in heck I’d let my kids watch it unsupervised before they’re 18)! If this were a movie, it’d for sure be rated R, so just be informed. So babe, what rating would you give it?
Well I would say it’s entertaining and action-packed, but it’s not something I’m necessarily going to talk about and recommend to friends, I’d say it 7 out of 11 horns.
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Yes, keep the messages coming! And we should also mention that we received some more unicorn mail! Last week we got a package from some dear friends back in Colorado - inside was this awesome squeezable unicorn popper - you put these brightly colored foam balls in his nose and then squeeze and shoot! It has quite the trajectory and it’s been a big hit in the Hansow home this last week. Thanks Kimbroughs - what a fun and glitzy surprise!!!!
Check out Instagram @HansowFamily to see a boomerang of Morgan squeezing the unicorn
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Brought to you By
“Today’s show has been brought to you by the word ‘’MORE.” There is MORE ahead for you and there’s More now! More goodness, more celebration, more abundance. Sometimes the grace you need to come through a season is wrapped up in the awareness of the very place you’re at and the fact that this isn’t the place you’ll always be. Honor that longing for the movement towards more in all areas of life. You are powerful and brave and resilient, you are not a victim. Keep reminding yourself that the best is yet to come! And don’t forget, Gratitude is the doorway to joy! May you become a person who practices gratitude like a boss!
“Until next week...keep embracing the mystery, asking questions, and giving yourself permission to enjoy the process. And watch out for those freakin’ unicorns...they’re glitzy and shimmery and full of crap!” ;)